A lot of you probably wants to know what’s exactly is going on here… Well, me too. So let’s start from the beginning.

Hi, I’m Lemur and I don’t drink since… *sips water* Nevermind.

This is the fourth time when I’m trying to write this, but I guess I will finally share my masterplan with the world. Yeah, it’s time, I’m tired of waiting, so buckle up, because I’m about to tell you a story.
I am a writer.
It took me years to be able to say that out loud, especially that it doesn’t stop there. I am also an artist.
Now, coming out as an artist AND a writer to your Polish family can sometimes be harder that telling them you’re gay.
It’s fine as a harmless hobby but as a career path? You have to fight. Seriously, every single step you take is about proving that you are good enough to do what you can’t live without. Then it’s also about convincing yourself that you are worth it, that you can make it and that people will like what you make. From the lack of words I can describe this whole “journey” as “Dean Winchester’s lovely time in Purgatory”. 

Now how hard can writing a book be? The worlds is drowning in a shitty erotic literature for children and mothers of 3. 
You see, now that’s when it gets tricky. I wanted to do it on my own terms, because eventually I realized that it have to be good enough for me. 
What did it mean? That I had to do illustrations myself and be able to translate it to English since at that time my English was barely ok. 
The year was something around 2018/2019 when I told my family that if they don’t let me study graphic design in London I will go to Russia to become a professional ice skater (this is funny on so many levels but let me tell you, I was desperate xD).
Eventually I was able to convince my family to let me go study in London. Told them that a graphic designer is a great career path, many opportunities yadda yadda… The truth was that I just wanted to go there to finally learn English properly and realized that if I study that I will be able to make my book from scratch.

Like… Who the duck does that?
Me :

How did it go?
I mean I got severely traumatized, was stucked there during Covid and I have a fancy debt but hey I learned English. “Do it for the plot” or something. But sweet Jesus, Asian bakery shops were so worth it. 
Also what they thaught me I could learn from youtube like web design, because like someone said “If you want to do it properly, do it yourself” or something. 

Around the time of graduating I came back to Poland. I missed my friends and cheap alcohol. Mostly cheap alcohol since 2020/2021 were a blur that couldn’t be taken on sober. What? Tell me that I’m wrong. 
Covid messed up my plans a bit, because I thought I will stay in London, get some fancy job, finish my book… But there I was, back in my home city making Tiktoks. 
Sidenote: There were two other points of my masterplan which included: a budget and a decent amount of followers, since I thought it would be much easier for me to publish a book if there are already people ready to read it. As for budget… I remember the conversation with my mom that went like “Do you have any idea how expensive is to self publish a book?” “Don’t worry, I will have a company, it’s a great move, because I will be also able to sell merch, it will be awesome” “…Sure”.
Now I think about it I should be more careful about what I wish for… Anyway, 5 million us dollars and I want a cottage in Switzerland with a great view.

Back to the story.
Tiktok played an important part in everything and @lemurdaily was my FIFTH account. Yeah, never back down never what… Although each one of them had viral videos where I was painting on T-shirts and that pushed me to start researching about how to personalize clothes and… Now I do that for living. So listen dear person, even if you think that your idea is stupid, it’s not. Go for it, you may get so surprised.
Still, even if I started selling some T-shirts it wasn’t enough, other Tiktok accounts flopped, I needed something new, I was desperate, broke my stove, thought “Yolo, let’s do a new account with art tutorials…” Because I wanted to draw better and didn’t have any motivation to do so… Also I wanted a new stove (WHICH TOOK ME TWO YEARS BUT GOT IT). 

To be honest I was scared to death since it was supposed to be the first time of me appearing in videos… Even if I was wearing a mask, more it was a mask from BJ Alex since I thought “Damn it will be so funny years later XD”.
Anyway, I started and got a very positive response. Even from abroad which was my goal since the beginning. Then I thought “I can make it more entertaining, let me just summon a Demon, he will teach you art”. And that’s how I got my two sons… One was planned one was not. Or maybe both of them weren’t planned? Well, none of that was really planned.
Now, I really enjoyed making Tiktoks with characters and thought “How about some lore?” Suddenly people liked the lore more than tutorials, I was a bit on the crossroad, didn’t know what to do…
But I kept going. Finally managed to learn how to crochet plushies which is what I always wanted to do and then I started to sew. I still remember when my mom said “you’re too old for plushies, I won’t buy you any, if you want one, make one”. I might’ve took it a bit to literally… Well.

Now I mentioned before that if you want to be an Artist you have to fight for it. Literally, because I can’t count the times when I heard “You have too many hobbies, focus on one thing”. But I would be so miserable. Don’t get me wrong, I tried. I tried to fit in so desperately I got depressed. Maybe that’s why I hate labels. Some people need them, they help but for me it was a constant reminder that I do not belong anywhere. No one said “create your own label”. You know, growing up I was constantly telling myself “become someone that little you would look up to”. Hm… I’m not proud of a lot of things I did xD However, I guess what the little me needed the most was for someone to tell them “You can do it and I will help you”. And during these 3 years of making Tiktoks I learned so much. Especially that people still need tutorials, motivation and someone to cheer them up during sad times. Also that was one of reasons why I started sewing plushies. I saw what’s available and thought “Shit, you deserve so much better.”

Now, let’s wrap it up a bit.
A few years ago I was poor with dreams and now I am a bit less poor, have even more dreams and an actual company.
Also along the way I got lost. Felt like I am lying in a mud face down most of the time, cried a lot out of frustration but eventually realized that all that was another freaking Character developement arc that I needed to proceed with my plans. 

And what are my plans?
> I still want to finish my book (which is almost done with around 700 pages but then for the next part I will have to go to Japan for research, this will be fun xD)
>I want to draw a webtoon (I won’t be more ready and you will love that story, seriously)
>I want to finish that series of tutorials and eventually finish the House of Chaos story since I think you deserve that.

Well… What else can I say.
Thank you. 
There are so many people who’s been supporting me since the beginning. Were there during my happy days, sad days, mental breakdowns… Which wasn’t easy, but you’re still there.
Thank you for all kind words, believing in me and… Well, everything. 

I promise I will keep going and if I fell down again just give me a hug or send a thirst trap. After all everyone needs some good motivation from time to time.

God’s favourite soldier
Lemur